So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
