where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
