I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
