Four minutes until I can fart!
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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