Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
