David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
