dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
its not stalking. its research.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
