Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
