we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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