You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
