i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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