Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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