It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
