I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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