she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i think i have two assholes
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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