Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
they're like a gay fantastic four
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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