my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
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