I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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