We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
