Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
