i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
