3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
