Me too!
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize