We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
