If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
