i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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