matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
