Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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