I swear she didn't look like that last week.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
