your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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