Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize