She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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