my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
