I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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