I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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