Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
