just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
