i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
