He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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