We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
