I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
