Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
