I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
