Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
