I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
