i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
