If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
