what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm always down for nudity.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
