WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
These tits shall not be calmed
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
