..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
