I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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