Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
