you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
