Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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