one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
