You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
