i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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