everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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