so explain again why im purple
no
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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