Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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