Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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