yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
