Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Your shirt... Was in my pants
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
