I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
