spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
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