Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
