i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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