Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
